Introducing LaShone Miles, a beacon of resilience and inspiration. Her story is one of triumph over adversity, showcasing the power of faith and determination. LaShone's journey has been marked by challenges, but her unwavering spirit and commitment to self-discovery have led her to a place of healing and empowerment.
Through her experiences, she has emerged as a symbol of hope, proving that it is possible to overcome even the darkest of times with courage and grace. Join us as we delve into LaShone's story and discover the strength that lies within us all.
LaShone welcome to the Becoming Article!
We are so excited to have you join us on today! Lets get started....
CAN YOU RECALL A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE THAT WAS DEEPLY HEARTBREAKING, A MOMENT THAT SHATTERED THE VERY CORE OF WHO YOU WERE, ERASING THE PERSON YOU ONCE KNEW YOURSELF TO BE?
The moment I lost my identity and reason on this earth was when I endured sexual abuse for several years. Life as I knew it was over for me in every capacity.
WHEN DID YOU REALIZE THAT THIS MOMENT HAD GROWN WITH YOU, EXERTING A SILENT YET POWERFUL CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE, HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE WITHIN ITS GRIP?
I suffered for over 15+ years with guilt, shame, mental instability, sexuality, promiscuity, depression, suicidal thoughts, rejection, abandonment, low self-esteem, anger, inability to maintain things, unstable living arrangements, and spiritual anger with God while still loving Him.
From Pain to Power: Embracing the Journey of Healing and Faith
HOW DID THIS TRAUMA BUILD IN YOUR LIFE, AFFECTING YOUR DECISION-MAKING, APPETITE, RELATIONSHIPS, PERSPECTIVE, AND CONFIDENCE? WHAT DID IT HINDER, AND HOW DID YOU COPE WITH ITS OVERWHELMING PRESENCE? REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS.
I never had healthy relationships. I did not trust anyone. I had a rebellion against authority, especially church leadership. I would be good sometimes, then I would spiral mentally with all types of emotions that led me back into depression. I was rejected so much that I tried to commit suicide. I had no hope in anything because it seemed as if I was suffering while others were moving forward. I would only allow myself to be in situationships because I could control when I dealt with them. Most of the men I dealt with were emotionally unavailable, yet I wanted something significant with them. Some I actually fell in love with, but I ended up broken and destroyed because they chose others instead of me.
WHAT WAS THE TURNING POINT FOR YOU, THE MOMENT WHEN YOU DECIDED TO LIVE AGAIN? WHEN DID YOU MUSTER THE COURAGE TO SAY, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH," AND TAKE THE FIRST STEP TOWARD MOVING FORWARD? YOU ARE INCREDIBLY BRAVE.
It was when I found out I was pregnant with my first child in 2014. I longed for love so badly that I knew this was one of the ways for me to receive genuine love with no strings attached. I started changing a little because I knew I had someone depending on me. My first step was strengthening my relationship with God. I was tired of the same cycles, so I went to God and allowed Him back in.
From Longing to Love: Embracing Motherhood and Renewing Faith
WERE YOU HESITANT TO LET GO OF THE PAIN BECAUSE IT HAD BECOME FAMILIAR, ALMOST COMFORTING IN ITS FAMILIARITY? WERE YOU AFRAID OF THE FREEDOM THAT LETTING GO MIGHT BRING, AFRAID TO STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN AND BECOME SOMEONE NEW THAT YOUR COURAGE IS COMMENDABLE.
I was hesitant to let go of a lot of things because I made the pain become who I was. That was scary, and in 2018 I decided to go on a self-healing journey. I thought the journey would be easy because I finally decided to deal with me. Instead, all of my emotions rose up, and anger was the number one. I had no filter, no reserve, and sometimes no control over my responses. It seemed like I was getting into confrontations really badly and didn’t care. I was ready to defend myself since I had not done it in the past.
HOW CHALLENGING WAS IT TO RELEASE THE HURT THAT HAD BEEN A PART OF YOU FOR SO LONG? WHAT HELPED YOU RECOGNIZE THAT IT WAS TIME TO BEGIN THE HEALING PROCESS? YOU ARE UNDENIABLY A STRONG WOMAN.
It took me a year to release the pain and anger attached. One day I was praying, and God started to touch my anger. I started expressing to Him why I was angry and how people left me for dead and didn’t care if I was going to survive. I broke down crying so badly I couldn’t even cry anymore. A few months later, I was praying and started calling names out in the atmosphere, and my abuser was among the names. I knew God had healed me because I couldn’t speak his name for anything, and so many emotions rose up before this day. This day I was able to pray good and not bad, with no emotional trauma or hurt. It freed me to totally forgive.
WHERE DID FORGIVENESS BEGIN FOR YOU? DID IT START WITHIN YOURSELF, OR DID IT BEGIN WITH FORGIVING OTHERS WHO MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR PAIN? REMEMBER, FORGIVENESS IS A PROCESS, AND IT'S OKAY IF IT UNFOLDS GRADUALLY. YOUR JOURNEY IS PRICELESS.
Forgiveness started with myself. I am such a hard critic of myself. I had to realize what happened and forgive me. It was very painful to go back in time and relive every encounter in my mind, but I knew this was something I must do. It forced me to deal with many emotions, and I dealt with this alone. I didn’t tell others because I wanted to deal on my own and allow God to help me. I didn’t want the opinions of others to sway my judgment and heart. I’m still forgiving certain things in my life, and I am still on my self-healing journey. I feel like it never ends.
WHEN DID YOU START FEELING THE CYCLE OF PAIN AND TRAUMA BREAKING WITHIN YOU? WHEN DID YOU REALIZE THAT YOU WERE NO LONGER DEFINED BY YOUR PAST, THAT YOU HAD NOT ONLY SURVIVED BUT THRIVED DESPITE IT ALL?
I started feeling the cycle of pain and trauma breaking throughout 2018. I made myself come face to face with every emotion. It was not easy because I hated myself for allowing every abuse that has ever come to me. Although I was angry, I made myself love myself again. I loved even the ugly parts that I hated. It took some time to love me again. Now I am at a place where I have totally accepted me for me. There are some things I am still working on that have been a process. Consistency has been a major hold in my life. Every day I push through to keep a schedule to hold myself accountable. It helps me be consistent. There have been so many mature and great things that have happened to me from 2020 to now. I am not perfect, but God has allowed me to evolve into a person that I thought I could never become. It is a joy to see that the girl who gave up on herself is thriving and still becoming who God has always seen her as. An amazing transformation to witness!
IF YOU COULD SPEAK TO SOMEONE WHO EXPERIENCED WHAT YOU’VE OVERCOME TODAY, ARMED WITH THE WISDOM AND STRENGTH YOU HAVE GAINED, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? HOW WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE YOURSELF TO KEEP PUSHING FORWARD, KNOWING WHAT YOU KNOW NOW? YOU ARE A TRUE CHAMPION.
Take the time you need and start from where you are, no matter what age. Be open to change, be open for God to heal you, and be open to trust again. Do not let others keep you bound in your past or pain. Oftentimes, we create defense mechanisms in life after trauma and they help us survive; however, I have found that some of those were not healthy choices. Be open to deprogram and reprogram your mindset and ways of living. We tend to stay in survival mode, but that’s not living. Choose to live every day, even when it’s difficult. Do not give up on yourself. God was my ultimate source and without Him, I wouldn’t have made it through this journey.
Have patience and do not be so hard on yourself. We have all made choices we regret and wish it were another way. It does not define who you are. You can push through and see life through a healed lens. It is a beautiful sight.
LaShone Miles , we want to take a moment to express our sincere gratitude for coming to share your story with us. Your openness and courage in sharing your journey have touched us deeply, and we are truly honored to have had the opportunity to hear from you.
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